High Rise Veins On The Avenue :)

It's cool to think that everyone you ever meet in your whole life effects you. Everyone leaves a mark your life. Examples? Say you meet someone in like, high school and they tell you about their favorite song in all of this wonderful universe and then they move away and you don't see them for the rest of forever. Well, you'll remember that they loved that song. You'll hear it on the radio and be reminded:). A memory. Everyone that you've ever met, you've met for a reason. Like the girl that loves peach tea way too crazy much:) Whom you should really spend more time with because she's amazing. Or that friend you've had since you were like zero years old and will probably have forever because it would just be weird if you weren't friends even if you only talk like once a month when your mom drags you to their house and tells you you're spending the night, and he has a friend over so they keep barging into the room that you're staying in and stealing your table because they need it and then they won't leave alone so basically you have two teenage guys just loitering and being annoying in your temporary bedroom. Or or or that old lady that lives across the street and is obsessive with her yard and has a 'beware of dog' sign even though she hasn't owned a dog since like the 20's, just so bad guys don't try to get her. Or maybe the guy who works at the gas station and all he knows about you is your name and that you get jones soda every beautiful day. Or your best friend's cousins that pretend to hate you but you know that deep down they secretly don't haaate you, they just think you're the most annoying little girl that's ever walked the planet. And the little mexican boy that had the locker beneath yours and butterflyed you CONSTANTLY. They've all entered your wisp of a life for a reason:). It's exciting to think that you're going to meet soooo many people. And they're all. Going. To. Be. Different. :) The canvas that is life will be splattered and stroked by all kinds of colors :) Get reeeeaaaddddyy:) GAH I'm excited:)

It's A Marvelous Night For A Moondance

Someday, someone will walk into your life and you'll realize why it never worked with anyone else.

Long Live Life :)

I'm really dissapointed in myself. Kill the messenger? What kind of crap is that? Messengers are wonderful. We're all messngers in a way. Everytime you share a song, a picture, a moment with someone...you're a messenger. I'm a huuuge messenger. Look at this! Look at all of these blog posts! Messages! Iwouldn't kill myself would I? I wouldn't kill anyone. There's no doubt in my mind that my beloved Andrew Mcmahon was craaazy drunk when he wrote those lyrics. Doctors, Artists, Musicians, Pastors, Teachers, Writers, all of these outstanding people are messengers. What would we be without them? We'd be sick, boring, silent, misguided, illiterate, nothings. That's what we'd be. Long Live The Messenger. :) The messenger is deathproof. Society lives on. Society has a big, message-spreading, beautiful mouth that cannot die. I encourage you to learn, and live, and dance, and sing, and create, and write, and be all that you can, I encourage you to be a messenger:) They keep the world going. You're going to meet someone someday and they'll be waiting to hear, see, experience your message. Have it ready. Know what you love. Share it:) I'm soooo unbelievably sorry. For being so stupid. :) Let the messenger live. Keep living:)

I went swimming. I didn't really like it. It was pretty awful. I jumped out, and went swimming in another pool. I liked it:) It was nice. But, more difficult. But, it was worth it. It is worth it. I want to swim for a really long time. Like a looong time. I think I can too. Maybe:) If no one else does. I don't like doing things that other people do. But, I'm sure the pool won't stay mine. That's ok. There'll be other pools to swim in. Swim:) But what should I do? Keep swimming. Andrew would tell me to keep swimming. But Andrew has to keep a puke bucket by his piano at his concerts. And Andrew can't go ten seconds without using an inappropriate word. And he's not talking about the kind of swimming I'm talking about. I swim the way that I swim. The pool is used to different kinds of swimmers. Gahhh, this pool is amazing. It's not on fire. It's chill. Haha. Ya know how earlier I said that it's ok that the pool won't stay mine? I don't think I'm so ok with that. It's out of my control though. I think I'll wade in the pool, get out when I want to, when I need too. We'll see what happens:) I keep swimming in circles. In this pool. Grrr, I want to forget about the other pool. I am forgetting. Forgotten:) I think I'm staying afloat pretty nicely now:) I hope it stays this way. I'm no swimmer. The pool wants me to swimswimswim, and I want to, but I can't. GRAHURGH. We'll see how this goes. It might take years. The next pool I swim in could be in Beunos Aires, Argentina, or it could be in some direction I don't know even exitsts yet. We'll see.

Sincerely, William Martin Joel

"Slow down, you crazy child. You're so ambitious for a juvenile. But then if you're so smart, then tell me why are you still so afraid? Where's the fire? What's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out. You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day." -Vienna, Billy Joel. I could sit here and retype the lyrics for hours. It's like Billy knew something that no one else did...I just want to flee to his Long Island home and thank him repeatedly. Billy Joel tried to commit sucide at age 21. Seven years before Vienna's album was released. And now I'm thanking God for Billy's failure at taking his life. Because if I had never heard that song, I would be....messed up. Majorly. Every time I listen to it, I can't believe how much I relate. "You know that when the truth is told, that you can get what you want, or you can just get old. You're gonna kick off before you even get half way through. When will you realize...Vienna waits for you?" It's almost like, sometime in the early 1970's this amazing man sat down and just started writing: Dear...Girl (Idk, don't judge me)
-insert lyrics here-
Sincerely,
William Martin Joel
:) I have close to five hundred songs in my iTunes library. "Vienna" is the third most played. Right under Collide (Howie Day) and Fast Car (Tracy Chapman). "Slow down, you're doing fine. You can't be everything you want to be before your time. Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight..." "You've got your passion, you've got your pride. But, don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true. When will you realize? Vienna waits for you." When will I realize? :)

Every Single Second

I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to be the daughter of a King. ...But I am. I don't deserve God's prescense in my heart, in my life. Yet, I have it. He's my savior, father, role model, inspiration, breath, soul, creator, guide, rock, He is my everything. I don't deserve to even know Him, but that's what He wanted. And it gives me butterflies just to think about how He...wants to know me. He wants to know me. God does. He knows where I'm going, and where I've been, and where I'll never go, and everything single thing that I will do every single second of this life He's given me. Dear Lord, I'm crying. Haha. Thinking about His grace, His glory, just thinking about Him makes me cry. Gah, I'm such a girl. And I know that He's smiling down at me, He's smiling through me, because He knows I love him. I want to chase after You, God. I want to see every inch of your beautiful, indescribeable creation. I can't get over it. I cannot stop crying for You and Your sacrifice. Sacrifice. I cannot stop thinking about You, God. I love you. Not only that, my God, I am madly in love with you. Loving someone and being in love with someone are different things. And I'm sorry, God, but it's hard for me to believe that You're also madly in love with me. But I know it's true. I'm going to believe it, because I love you, God, and because I know that you do not, and will never, lie to me. You're unstoppable, no limits, You are the limits, You grace me with Your sunsets, You tell me about yourself through Your nonparishable word, You sweep me off my feet everytime You give me that beautiful thing with the understated name. Rain. I love it, God. I love you, God. Let what I write in here, fill the streets out there, God. I can't imagine what will happen when I see You, God. Will I dance? Sing? Faint? Shout? Knowing me, I will probably trip over something and make a fool of myself in Your Holy prescense and like break a bone or fracture something. But, I won't. Because You will catch me. I'm crying again. Since when am I such an emotional person. I am not pregnant, that's not why. Maybe it's because I'm just thinking about You, God. :) Yeah, I'm positve that that's the reason.