longing has it's reasons.
Summer is dear to me because I identify with its ways
i was created to reveal to others the freedom, warmth, and abundance of Christ.
summer also reveals to us freedom, warmth, and abundance; all of which, in their rawest forms, are direct characteristics of love as it comes and does with Christ.
summer gives us a taste of eternity.
Found children are, in a sense, summer's own.
we carry light that comes from the same source as summer's light.
I long for summer because
i long to be understood.
i long to be awakened
i long to be full
and dont we all,,
Our souls share pieces with that of summer's song.
summer's salvation.
light to light, life
it lives
light gives.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Monday, December 3, 2012
December baby
sister don't believe yourself that way
because trust me one sweet day you will find your crown again.
dont let yourself
wear so thin
you are so wanted.
but unless you rise
you will not begin.
and i know you are awake but you like to pretend
to be asleep in hopes that maybe soon
you'll convince yourself
that nothing lies ahead.
but baby you have this anchor of hope
that will not leave you
sitting dead.
don't want to be dead
dont believe yourself that way
because trust me one sweet day you will find your crown again.
dont let yourself
wear so thin
you are so wanted.
but unless you rise
you will not begin.
and i know you are awake but you like to pretend
to be asleep in hopes that maybe soon
you'll convince yourself
that nothing lies ahead.
but baby you have this anchor of hope
that will not leave you
sitting dead.
don't want to be dead
dont believe yourself that way
lost and found and don't look down
the future is untouchable because once we arrive to it, it will no longer be the future. it will be the present. it will be a present. so why do we invite the future to wrap its hands around our wrists, making us its puppets, hating it letting it begging it wanting it. affair.
i have been learning that we grow when we're not looking. and our thoughts do not always only bounce, some days they build houses or walls or bridges and do we decide which? some days i think we do.
once again i will say
how beautiful this all is.
a what a gift, what a fragile place, to be in love with the sheer notion of
living.
and i think of how much has changed and how much has been lost and found and i know in my bones that i wouldn't have it any other way.
and realising that if one man had not looked at one woman in that one corner of the world on that one day, they would have never had a child and that child would have never grown older and never met another grown child, and those two grown children would have never fallen into life together and they would have never had a you.
damn.
if you are too afraid to change the world, you never will.
a sister of mine told me saturday that changing one life is changing the world. and that i have done it and she has and that we were together right in that moment.
something enchanting to me about talking around a kitchen table with beautiful humans who are no longer orphans and who know that.
it's an underground railroad type of living that we do, where we love so much that it may be a secret because we do not know any words to articulate
the depths.
something enchanting about going home and understanding that you never truly left. because pieces of everywhere you have been and everyone you have loved linger like jewel dust on your skin and scent. and those places and people carry in them, pieces, of, you.
good thing you are so much.
i have been learning that we grow when we're not looking. and our thoughts do not always only bounce, some days they build houses or walls or bridges and do we decide which? some days i think we do.
once again i will say
how beautiful this all is.
a what a gift, what a fragile place, to be in love with the sheer notion of
living.
and i think of how much has changed and how much has been lost and found and i know in my bones that i wouldn't have it any other way.
and realising that if one man had not looked at one woman in that one corner of the world on that one day, they would have never had a child and that child would have never grown older and never met another grown child, and those two grown children would have never fallen into life together and they would have never had a you.
damn.
if you are too afraid to change the world, you never will.
a sister of mine told me saturday that changing one life is changing the world. and that i have done it and she has and that we were together right in that moment.
something enchanting to me about talking around a kitchen table with beautiful humans who are no longer orphans and who know that.
it's an underground railroad type of living that we do, where we love so much that it may be a secret because we do not know any words to articulate
the depths.
something enchanting about going home and understanding that you never truly left. because pieces of everywhere you have been and everyone you have loved linger like jewel dust on your skin and scent. and those places and people carry in them, pieces, of, you.
good thing you are so much.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Harvest
sometimes i treat god like a dusty overdue library book. yeah what a great read, i feel better now, i'll put it away since i'm done and deal with that later.find it in the closet, look over it some more, and then become thoroughly distracted by life and things.
sometimes i treat God like santa claus on christmas eve. 'God, i am going to sleep now, please when i wake up make everything i want be the way i want it to be and maybe with snow thanks.'
wake up, stand up, brush up, grow up. born and off to the races.
this is a fragile age and often a fear stirs in me that perhaps i will be just awful at being 18 or 25 or 50 or older, and that here and now it as good as it will ever get, but haven't we all thought that before?
and looking back, can we travel to peace by the understanding that everything that has been has led to what is now and everything about today is going to lead to an abundance of somedays and that Cannot embitter us because we have no reason to believe that those somedays hold anything but glory.
peace drops like a bomb every once again, just going about my business and then this remarkably powerful thing falls from nowhere and everything is different because of it.
thinking of storing this golden autumn air in some jars. we are breathing time capsules.
sometimes i treat God like santa claus on christmas eve. 'God, i am going to sleep now, please when i wake up make everything i want be the way i want it to be and maybe with snow thanks.'
wake up, stand up, brush up, grow up. born and off to the races.
this is a fragile age and often a fear stirs in me that perhaps i will be just awful at being 18 or 25 or 50 or older, and that here and now it as good as it will ever get, but haven't we all thought that before?
and looking back, can we travel to peace by the understanding that everything that has been has led to what is now and everything about today is going to lead to an abundance of somedays and that Cannot embitter us because we have no reason to believe that those somedays hold anything but glory.
peace drops like a bomb every once again, just going about my business and then this remarkably powerful thing falls from nowhere and everything is different because of it.
thinking of storing this golden autumn air in some jars. we are breathing time capsules.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
nonfat no whip triple grande hot cold lip burning newspaper folds, youve gotta find prospects, make cuts, make war
we are a nation of cufflinks and newsprint.
we love when our husbands lose weight.
we complain about the weather because it's the only thing
we can't vote on.
how can i be honest without tossing rocks at lady liberty
when children get taller, they dress in grown up clothes and stomp around in big shoes to make something of themselves because all of a sudden they have to make the world work.
we hide grey hair.
we look down upon youth because ignorance is bliss
is bliss
is bliss
is bliss.
our storybooks are called the evening news where the princes trip on stones and the kingdom catches fire and we clap and sing because we never ever knew that we would be here.
i used to think my mother was born as a grown up and that kids stayed kids and grown ups stayed grown ups and olds stayed olds.
if only.
but there is something beautiful about every harvest of a generation inevitably rises from their desks and shimmies out of their graduation gowns and stops putting sugar in their coffee because we all want to make changes
we all want better and more for ourselves and each other and there is no flaw in that
but i still fancy the notion of skipping all this nonsense
and joining the circus
we love when our husbands lose weight.
we complain about the weather because it's the only thing
we can't vote on.
how can i be honest without tossing rocks at lady liberty
when children get taller, they dress in grown up clothes and stomp around in big shoes to make something of themselves because all of a sudden they have to make the world work.
we hide grey hair.
we look down upon youth because ignorance is bliss
is bliss
is bliss
is bliss.
our storybooks are called the evening news where the princes trip on stones and the kingdom catches fire and we clap and sing because we never ever knew that we would be here.
i used to think my mother was born as a grown up and that kids stayed kids and grown ups stayed grown ups and olds stayed olds.
if only.
but there is something beautiful about every harvest of a generation inevitably rises from their desks and shimmies out of their graduation gowns and stops putting sugar in their coffee because we all want to make changes
we all want better and more for ourselves and each other and there is no flaw in that
but i still fancy the notion of skipping all this nonsense
and joining the circus
Monday, September 24, 2012
Be in my Eyes be In my Heart
dizzy because life is just so much. two years ago my hair was about six inches shorter and my life was about as many millions of degrees different as a life can be. from this i choose to not settle in sorrow, but to have hope. because in only two years absolutely everything has been turned every way for every reason and through pain and change there has been monumental growth and becoming.
today i am learning fidelity and abandon.
tomorrow i will learn.
every day
every second i will learn.
what will be your story now?
i will tell you something almost every day i decide to go to bed early tonight. seclude myself, away from films and friends and fields and just go to sleep because to wake up you have to sleep first. it never happens. it never happens. it takes hours to get around to falling asleep because there is always so much else that demands attention and time, but i think that it will be a good idea to decide to have free time. jesus doesn't say come to me and i will give you a to do list, he says come to me and i will give you Rest.
advice from a tree suggests letting your roots grow down deep, and i suggest not over thinking the whole roots situation because we all have them every thing has them but much of their strength comes from the sheer fact that they are hidden they are deep within soil and foundation that it would take destruction and effort to see or destroy them.
i pray that we can all stop living
with this constant mindset of need and desperation
and realise
that we are loved and breathing and everything
is going to be alright.
i apologize insincerely if my words are repetitive. motifs of the heart.
beautiful that us in our ingenious youth know the entire world and everything that will ever happen front forwards and back but we dont even know what the morning will bring. plan to make a plan to make a plan to make something of yourself. But darling, you are Already something. You are so much something, and you are some one's Someone, SOmeday some how some where some way, you will see and understand why all this why because to soon to delay to only stay, just stay ,
i say.
today i am learning fidelity and abandon.
tomorrow i will learn.
every day
every second i will learn.
what will be your story now?
i will tell you something almost every day i decide to go to bed early tonight. seclude myself, away from films and friends and fields and just go to sleep because to wake up you have to sleep first. it never happens. it never happens. it takes hours to get around to falling asleep because there is always so much else that demands attention and time, but i think that it will be a good idea to decide to have free time. jesus doesn't say come to me and i will give you a to do list, he says come to me and i will give you Rest.
advice from a tree suggests letting your roots grow down deep, and i suggest not over thinking the whole roots situation because we all have them every thing has them but much of their strength comes from the sheer fact that they are hidden they are deep within soil and foundation that it would take destruction and effort to see or destroy them.
i pray that we can all stop living
with this constant mindset of need and desperation
and realise
that we are loved and breathing and everything
is going to be alright.
i apologize insincerely if my words are repetitive. motifs of the heart.
beautiful that us in our ingenious youth know the entire world and everything that will ever happen front forwards and back but we dont even know what the morning will bring. plan to make a plan to make a plan to make something of yourself. But darling, you are Already something. You are so much something, and you are some one's Someone, SOmeday some how some where some way, you will see and understand why all this why because to soon to delay to only stay, just stay ,
i say.
Monday, September 10, 2012
The Ruffian
whether i am kissing the lips of a boy or the rim of a coffee cup i want it to be honestly and out of love.
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