♕ ♚ ♛

as i throw another rock in your ocean, as i sit here as i revere as i forget to fear, there is change in the thunder and blood in the water and one by one little bricks fall gracefully from their big tall walls.
Without their height walls are defenseless.

today the eyes of my heart opened to a sweet realisation. it was similar to being asleep and waking up to the sun screaming into your window. It takes a second or two for your eyes to adjust to the brilliance and really understand this new piece of truth.
it occured to me by the grace of God that in regard to Satan's attacks, we can respond with rejoice in the plans our savior has for us. We can rejoice that his plans are SO important, so extraordinary that they provoke Satan into trying absolutely anything he can to tear them down or hold them back.
big stuff.

lately ive been struggling to balance holding dear the hope of the future but not lusting after it, not longing for or chasing someday. Because someday's time will come and this day, this time here, has done nothing to deserve neglect.

i am learning that no one no thing no place no taste no sound no friend no event can fulfill the way the peace of a savior can. Nothing else is worth it, truly nothing else is worth such energy and i have been recklessly chasing any sweet rebellion that catches my eye. And it is exhausting to an unearthly extent to chase all of this wind  and i want to be done.
"Entering into his fullness is not something you figure out or achieve . it's not a matter of being circumcised or keeping a long list of laws. No, you're already in. not through some secretive initiation rite, but rather through what Christ has already gone through for you, destroying the power of sin"colossians 2:11-14

Grab your pens and pillows

you rub your face and bite your lip and remind yourself of the ways things are and remind yourself that this is how they should be. dancing on that desert sand between what is real and what isn't, the motives that lie beneath every word hold the true daggers. not the words themselves, the words themselves are enslaved by the lips of envy.
if we were each to say everything in truth the world would be a healthier one.

today i was blessed with being able to talk to a very good old friend, he told me that he is learning that everyone is crazy and that it takes all types of people to run the world. I thought that first part was beautiful, ive been holding it up to my minds eye since then; every one is crazy. everyone is.

it is also crazy that we expect to be able to hold the sweet present in our calloused hands and expect it to grow and flourish whilst we reminisce to it of the past's glory. Oh dear present, hi remember how things used to be, remember that beauty, oh you don't you weren't there anyways it was really lovely , present, the past was really lovely. the present doesnt speak so as not to offend but deep in it's inner soul it knows that it is capable of being just as lovely. more so. more beautiful and more worthy than anything about the past. the present hungers for the opportunity. let be me, it whispers. it won't force itself unto us. none the less, if there may be any understanding or ambition within us i see it as our duty to satisfy that which the present hungers for. take this day by it's steady hand and not enslave it or allow it to enslave us but walk with it show it what we know and let it do the same. And how could we begin to do that if we won't stop craning our necks, trying to catch the last glimpse of yesterday