Sunday, October 30, 2011

my lungs are empty now, ill use my hands to speak somehow

how tragic it is that the slam of letter keyboard keys will never suit harmonically with the dancing of the trees outside, and so this i write with quiet hands.

i'm realising that once we sign up to love, we sign up for life. real life, i mean. and half the time, MORE than that like 64 percent of time lately has felt almost unreal. not artificial. not. lacking. Just hard, i suppose to comprehend the vastness and effects of a single moment, a solitary decision, the timing of stop lights in correlation with whatever street and whatever song and how long Gwendlelyn feels like singing on a saturday night. i'm realising that all of those are interesting and thought provoking, but i don't have to think about them. It's not really my place as one human being to be so deeply concerned with the way things are. Beauty in that, for sure.
last night i was telling this to my friend daniel and he asked me if its bad or good and i said i wasnt sure, and then. daniel. asked me this,
he said okay, so even if this were all a dream, would you do anything differently? and i said i don't think so. IN dreams we say what we feel, we kick bad guys in the balls, we soar of sorts, Often at least from my dreaming experience, in dreams we are intrepid in a mystical way almost. why does that have to be only in dreams, ya know? i mean isnt life worthy of a little fearlessness? hm, are life and dreams even opposites?
beginning to believe that they are more just close friends.
life says, hey dreams, you look pretty tonight.
dreams says, life, man, i miss you lets get together soon.
Life says, yeah. lets.
perhaps thats what right now is.

-here comes that sun again

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