GREY or BLUE

she was a bright girl,
with new eyes of a curious color.
she sang when she knew the song
and when she didn't,
she listened until she did.
dreams came easily to her,
her days were spent chasing them
and waiting upon them.
she always hungered for love.
a heart full, and skin warm.
she was a brave girl.
and she would not be defeated.

Maestro

outside the festival gates, i laid and you sat. The stars hung above it all, silver suns on a string. the wind reached even them, leading them nearly to a slow dance in the sky. close eyes, lean back, look up, open eyes. open eyes. breathe. "Do you think other people exist somewhere way out there?" "maybe. but i don't think we're ever intended to know them." your words fed life into the night, they covered me from the cold thoughts of mind and body. how odd that all else seemed so small compared to us right there, the lights, people, cars, sounds, town, fried food, it was of an entirely seperate place. a place of of much significance to its inhabitants, but little to the thoughts that inhabited us.
perhaps the stars were listening, or maybe that grass had been up late waiting. but something about it seemed almost destined. an unscripted arrangement by God himself, him and her and there and then. or maybe we somehow overcame the passing minutes and lost keys and maybe we stumbled right into place, all unintentionally intended of course. transpersonally, instantaneously, gracefully, we stumbled to that ground and the words flowed from within us, we are fountains. we are sky. two heads and one planet, waiting to stay. and wondering vastly beyond the attainable and further reaching into that infintie abyss of the possible and the doubtful, and mastering the art of blending the two. fountains we are.

red light, green light

tonight, i was speaking with two adults. two adults that have generally supported me always, i told them about some things that i had recently discovered, things that have me biting at the bit to get in a car and flee to boston.
anyways, i told them these tidbits and they responded with a lovely story of someone they know going to boston, just like i want to, and being "outgoing" and "wanting to travel" and how he got there and by the second semester wanted to go back home.
for God's sake, if you're going to indirectly attempt to bring me down just grow a pair and do it bluntly. tell me. tell me i can't do this, i dare you.
funny how often, people that have allowed their dreams, desires, and plans, to fade and grow dusty in the back of their minds have a hard time handling it when they see others inches away from holding all they've set their hopes on.
kind of venting here,
it just really upset me, first i started to cry and then i realised all of their doubt is derived from all of their fear. that's where they're different from me, i don't have much fear to give me much doubt where they are stocked up with both. if there was a mirror nearby, i would've looked myself in the eye and said lex, you're going. you're going. alas, there was not so rather i repeated to myself most of the thoughts i've had in the last year or so.
God did not create the whole world so that we will stay in one place our whole lives.
boston will be good because it is where i belong.
God has placed this desire within me for a reason, he's led me to this hope.
don't. listen. to them.
maybe i'll want to go home, then i'll either go home or perhaps realise that boston is home.

this all may seem naive, biased, or piped,
or it may seem what it truly is,
driven.