peaches

i want to challenge myself as a person, break habits and build skills. do things on purpose with intention, even if the reason is just because. quiet the thoughts within that have been begging me to focus on all my weaknesses, physically, spiritually, mentally, creatively. Jesus did not create us fearfully and wonderfully so that we can sit around fearful and worrying.
be joyful always.
but what a challenge that is, almost more so when everyone expects it of you. i pray for my roots to be established in love but truly i'm not so sure what that even means. and every human gets sick with feelings, they drive us and we let them.
i want to
sit and stare at trees until
i understand anything.
and seek solitude with my creator
until i trust that some things
are not for me to understand.
satan attacks our self image and our daily concerns because he does not want us to See the beauty and detail with which God has so divinely designed us. the enemy desires our attention to be absolutely anywhere but after the heart of jesus. God promises to provide and seek us, and is constantly doing so but we are often distracted from his faithfulness when Small fragments of worry shattering pieces of our peaces.
don't let circumstances hinder your joy.
our hearts are created with eternal intentions, kingdom bound. this is what makes it so difficult to understand why and how to handle things ending and changing.

i understand that if anyone who reads these words does not know Jesus personally, that everything here will be absolutely meaningless and unresolved.
that's been on my heart as well, because i struggle with doubt more than anything else spiritually.
but i am always always brought back to that place on broken humble knees
with a bare heart and open eyes and i just remember and realise
that nothing is worth it without jesus.