tonight, i was speaking with two adults. two adults that have generally supported me always, i told them about some things that i had recently discovered, things that have me biting at the bit to get in a car and flee to boston.
anyways, i told them these tidbits and they responded with a lovely story of someone they know going to boston, just like i want to, and being "outgoing" and "wanting to travel" and how he got there and by the second semester wanted to go back home.
for God's sake, if you're going to indirectly attempt to bring me down just grow a pair and do it bluntly. tell me. tell me i can't do this, i dare you.
funny how often, people that have allowed their dreams, desires, and plans, to fade and grow dusty in the back of their minds have a hard time handling it when they see others inches away from holding all they've set their hopes on.
kind of venting here,
it just really upset me, first i started to cry and then i realised all of their doubt is derived from all of their fear. that's where they're different from me, i don't have much fear to give me much doubt where they are stocked up with both. if there was a mirror nearby, i would've looked myself in the eye and said lex, you're going. you're going. alas, there was not so rather i repeated to myself most of the thoughts i've had in the last year or so.
God did not create the whole world so that we will stay in one place our whole lives.
boston will be good because it is where i belong.
God has placed this desire within me for a reason, he's led me to this hope.
don't. listen. to them.
maybe i'll want to go home, then i'll either go home or perhaps realise that boston is home.
this all may seem naive, biased, or piped,
or it may seem what it truly is,
driven.
(:
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